i'm a pack rat. Now, i'm not hoarder bad - i'm not about to make my reality show debut - but i do tend to keep a lot of things if they have even the slightest sentimental value....downside is i'm pretty sentimental and find small meaning in many things.
Last weekend i decided that i needed to start going through my stuff and getting rid of what i can. I'm apartment hunting, and i figured it'd be easier to deal with the years of accumulated stuff now rather than later. The problem with someone who has moved once in her life is that i have A LOT of stuff. You tend to hold on to things you normally wouldn't simply because you've always had it.
Point A: I have at least 20 copies of Twist magazine. I don't think they make Twist magazine anymore, but when i was in high school that was my magazine of choice. For some reason, i've felt like it was a good idea to keep them. it made sense when i was still in high school and the articles were relevant; and it made sense when i used to cut things out of the magazines to use for other projects.....but why do i need these magazines now? i'm not sure. I still have a problem with getting rid of magazines, just Canadian Living seems to have taken Twist's place. Needless to say, i said goodbye to Twist.
Point B: I've reaffirmed that i'm vain, although i think it was more about my own insecurities and needing to be perfect. I have kept certificates for everything you can imagine, including when i was named Student of the Day four times in Grade 5. I also found 3 complete acceptance packages from the universities i applied to. It was satisfying knowing they all wanted me. i found graded work from various teachers - most with perfect scores. While i couldn't bring myself to get rid of absolutely everything in this category, i got rid of most of it and only kept a few essentials.
Point C: cards for every occasion - i can't get rid of them. i feel like someone took the time to pick it out, write a thoughtful message and greet me on a special day with it - how can i throw that away? plus, when i was in grade 5, i read this book called The Secret of the Cards and in it a girl found a box of old cards in the window seat and with it the spirit of a girl who owned them. i started keeping a box of cards in my closet....i still do. remember that sentimental thing i mentioned earlier. i still can't get rid of them. i don't think they'll make the move with me, but right now My Secret of the Cards lives with the boyfriend boxes in the closet. And no, the boyfriend boxes were not part of the clean up.
While the bf boxes weren't included, i did make a huge step forward.
On my bedside table there has been a picture of me and M from our first weekend away together since 2006. it was a great weekend and the weekend away marked a huge step forward in our relationship. i've never been able to take it down. things (cards from other boys) have stood in front of it at times, but it's never been removed from my bedside table. i wasn't ready to have M gone from my life, even though he has been gone from my life romantically since 2007.
Last weekend, i took it down and put it away. i just don't feel like i need it anymore. i think i've finally moved past it. i'm ready to have that again with someone else and i think taking down the picture means i'm finally giving it a real shot. I want C to take that place and i'm so excited at what's to come for us. scared, yes of course - almost terrified, i haven't opened myself up to someone in so long - but excited because it feels right and good and like diamond sunbursts and marble halls all over again.
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