the mood had shifted. they were looking for more and she knew it. the tone had changed, grown more suggestive and the urging for more drinks in another location grew more insistent. she knew it was time to go. the voice that had told her to have fun and enjoy the company of the cute stranger in the black hat was now telling her that too much alcohol had been consumed by too many people. 5 of them. one of her. it was time to go.
bills tallied, cash exchanged, coats on and blast of cold air as the door opened. quiet. darkness. isolation.
they wanted her to come. she laughed and joked about a long drive the next day. they wanted her to come.
quiet roar, stirred dust, silver beast - dinosaur? no, F150. the driver waves. doors open. her people have come. they retreat as they see she isn't alone.
she moves to the vehicle and he jumps out. doors slam, flurry of excitement, forgotten communications, sly glances from passengers.
he enters the vehicle to her right. she inquires after his missing item. he presses his leg against it, against her. she's been found.
realization. confirmation. deliberation.
she desires contact to thank him. she calls, she knocks, she waits, she knocks, she waits, she retreats.
miscommunication?
phone rings. not him. an invitation, a chance to investigate. she looks and waits and tests the temperature. she leans where she hasn't before. she instigates contact. he smiles. he shrugs off her thanks.
yawns, goodnights, he glances back down the hall? or did she imagine that.
morning. did she imagine it? she's uncertain and shrugs off her crazy thoughts. she blames it on the alcohol. then he gives her shoulder a squeeze while passing her. a simple squeeze, but a suggestive squeeze. the squeeze tells her he knows she knows.
they know.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Going Steady..
It's official, i'm going steady with my company for a while. I signed the paperwork yesterday for my new position. Publications Writer/Editor 3 --> That's me!
It's a Full Time Temporary (FTT) position for the first six months and then they will post the job officially and I can apply for the permanent position. Doing it this way allowed them to get around formally posting the job and doing a formal hiring procedure right off the bat. It also gives me the chance to really understand my job and prove that i'm awesome at it before they hire other contenders.
it feels so good that my future actually seems to be unfolding. It took me seven years to finish university and that time was often filled with so much uncertainty where I wasn't sure where I would end up or if I would be able to make it in the real working world.
i've been really fortunate with every job that I have ever received. i have had the chance to vie for some amazing opportunities and once i've gotten myself in there i've been pretty lucky at making a good enough impression that i've been able to secure myself a place there in the long term.
when i got the letter of offer yesterday...i can't remember the last time I felt that excited about something. i'm pretty excited about graduating in June, but this was a whole other level. I haven't even graduated from university yet and i am fortunate enough to have a job right out of the gate.
K and I had a tea date last night and we were discussing how we're both "happy career women" and we both feel so fortunate to be able to say that we're truly happy with how our lives have unfolded thus far and the place we are at right now. A place where everything is not necessarily exciting all of the time but it is good and we are happy. I don't think that a lot of people are happy with their lives or are in love with their job more often than not. i've worked at a number of places where people don't necessarily like their job but they're stuck there or they aren't motivated to find something they enjoy. At this company you really don't get the sense that people dislike their jobs. everyone is so passionate and involved. it's a fun collaborative environment and yet we produce a large volume of work.
i think i have chosen "a real fine place to start."
It's a Full Time Temporary (FTT) position for the first six months and then they will post the job officially and I can apply for the permanent position. Doing it this way allowed them to get around formally posting the job and doing a formal hiring procedure right off the bat. It also gives me the chance to really understand my job and prove that i'm awesome at it before they hire other contenders.
it feels so good that my future actually seems to be unfolding. It took me seven years to finish university and that time was often filled with so much uncertainty where I wasn't sure where I would end up or if I would be able to make it in the real working world.
i've been really fortunate with every job that I have ever received. i have had the chance to vie for some amazing opportunities and once i've gotten myself in there i've been pretty lucky at making a good enough impression that i've been able to secure myself a place there in the long term.
when i got the letter of offer yesterday...i can't remember the last time I felt that excited about something. i'm pretty excited about graduating in June, but this was a whole other level. I haven't even graduated from university yet and i am fortunate enough to have a job right out of the gate.
K and I had a tea date last night and we were discussing how we're both "happy career women" and we both feel so fortunate to be able to say that we're truly happy with how our lives have unfolded thus far and the place we are at right now. A place where everything is not necessarily exciting all of the time but it is good and we are happy. I don't think that a lot of people are happy with their lives or are in love with their job more often than not. i've worked at a number of places where people don't necessarily like their job but they're stuck there or they aren't motivated to find something they enjoy. At this company you really don't get the sense that people dislike their jobs. everyone is so passionate and involved. it's a fun collaborative environment and yet we produce a large volume of work.
i think i have chosen "a real fine place to start."
Friday, February 18, 2011
"I don't want anyone else, I just want you"
You'd think at the sound of those words any girl would be melting into a pool at the guy who said its feet...and I am no exception. Except those words didn't come from a guy I was interested in romantically. And those words were not in reference to a relationship with me.
Those words popped out of a senior manager's mouth while I was in his office listening to a job proposal. that's right a job proposal. Instead of diamonds I get a salary and instead of promises of a dream home, I get my very own cubicle in the office.
Either way it's the offer of a future with a company that is very successful, treats its employees very well and provides the opportunity for consistent professional growth.
This opportunity will allow me to really work on my writing and interview skills. It will give me that chance to take ownership over our company's internal communication system. I'll have the opportunity to travel and see all of our province. And i'll get to be part of a new family that is very tight knit in the office and highly supportive of one another.
The paperwork hasn't been signed quite yet, but it's looking quite promising and I think the Year of Me is truly starting with all the shrieks, tears and hugs that go with that popped question.
For my first big proposal it was well worth the wait.
Those words popped out of a senior manager's mouth while I was in his office listening to a job proposal. that's right a job proposal. Instead of diamonds I get a salary and instead of promises of a dream home, I get my very own cubicle in the office.
Either way it's the offer of a future with a company that is very successful, treats its employees very well and provides the opportunity for consistent professional growth.
This opportunity will allow me to really work on my writing and interview skills. It will give me that chance to take ownership over our company's internal communication system. I'll have the opportunity to travel and see all of our province. And i'll get to be part of a new family that is very tight knit in the office and highly supportive of one another.
The paperwork hasn't been signed quite yet, but it's looking quite promising and I think the Year of Me is truly starting with all the shrieks, tears and hugs that go with that popped question.
For my first big proposal it was well worth the wait.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I'm not alone.
I was sent this article the other day by one of the directors at my place of employment.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/18/us/politics/18early.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1&ref=politics
The article describes how young aides at major companies are getting up at 4 and 5 am every morning to pour over news clippings to "synthesize it, summarize it and spin it, before their bosses start the day well prepared."
This is actually a component of my job. I listen and transcribe news clips before I go to bed every night and I rise around 6 am to catch all of the morning clips and compile them into a summary for the executive team at work.
it's kind of nice to know i'm not the only one who spends all hours pouring over the news in the wee morning hours.
I could start a Facebook group...
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/18/us/politics/18early.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1&ref=politics
The article describes how young aides at major companies are getting up at 4 and 5 am every morning to pour over news clippings to "synthesize it, summarize it and spin it, before their bosses start the day well prepared."
This is actually a component of my job. I listen and transcribe news clips before I go to bed every night and I rise around 6 am to catch all of the morning clips and compile them into a summary for the executive team at work.
it's kind of nice to know i'm not the only one who spends all hours pouring over the news in the wee morning hours.
I could start a Facebook group...
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sagi-WHAT?!
**I'll say hey you say baby how's your day i'll say crazy...** (yes this is my ring tone...)
Me: Hello?
J: Hey
**random chit chat**
J: so are you still a Capricorn?
Me: Nope, i'm a Sagittarius.
J: Oh really? yea i'm a Virgo now.
Me: Now...? i've always been a Sagittarius...
J: Oh so you didn't change
Me:.......hunh?
J: They changed all the astrological signs, you might not be a Sagittarius anymore.
**I dash to computer and google madly**
Me: WTF, what's a Ophiucus?
J: i'm guessing you're the new sign?
Me: yea no longer a Sagittarius by one day...
So that was how my weekend unfolded itself. I lost my astrological identity. Not that i ever paid all that much attention to astrology but I always felt that i was a Sagittarius, I mean the personality traits always made sense. Fire sign, fiery temper, redheaded. And i know you're thinking but they make those traits so general that they could apply to anyone. But check out this one: *ahem* "Because of their desire for change, Sagittarians may have a hard time committing to a relationship for very long."
Now if that's not me to a T then i don't know what is.
Of course i've now had to learn my new personality traits. They're pretty much the same across the board on all websites:
* A seeker of wisdom and knowledge (it has taken me 7 years to complete my undergrad because i kept extending my degree)
* A flamboyant dressing sense, favouring bright colours. ( i LOVE colour)
* Authority looks upon him/her well (very obedient, never got into trouble.. missed that rebellious gene)
* Would make a great architect or builder (ok we strike out here)
* Number 12 is the lucky number.
* Will have a big family but will leave home at an early age (i LOVE the idea of a big family but am concerned about its practicality...and well...i've left home a couple times...and came back....but i was only 18 the first time)
But my favorite, and the one i think is the most applicable personally, was found on one website which declared that Ophiucus' are "wearers of plaid".
I am choosing to interpret this as my astrological sign understanding my love of country music. Accordingly, when i walked past the display in Walmart with $9 plaid shirts...i bought two.
Me: Hello?
J: Hey
**random chit chat**
J: so are you still a Capricorn?
Me: Nope, i'm a Sagittarius.
J: Oh really? yea i'm a Virgo now.
Me: Now...? i've always been a Sagittarius...
J: Oh so you didn't change
Me:.......hunh?
J: They changed all the astrological signs, you might not be a Sagittarius anymore.
**I dash to computer and google madly**
Me: WTF, what's a Ophiucus?
J: i'm guessing you're the new sign?
Me: yea no longer a Sagittarius by one day...
So that was how my weekend unfolded itself. I lost my astrological identity. Not that i ever paid all that much attention to astrology but I always felt that i was a Sagittarius, I mean the personality traits always made sense. Fire sign, fiery temper, redheaded. And i know you're thinking but they make those traits so general that they could apply to anyone. But check out this one: *ahem* "Because of their desire for change, Sagittarians may have a hard time committing to a relationship for very long."
Now if that's not me to a T then i don't know what is.
Of course i've now had to learn my new personality traits. They're pretty much the same across the board on all websites:
* A seeker of wisdom and knowledge (it has taken me 7 years to complete my undergrad because i kept extending my degree)
* A flamboyant dressing sense, favouring bright colours. ( i LOVE colour)
* Authority looks upon him/her well (very obedient, never got into trouble.. missed that rebellious gene)
* Would make a great architect or builder (ok we strike out here)
* Number 12 is the lucky number.
* Will have a big family but will leave home at an early age (i LOVE the idea of a big family but am concerned about its practicality...and well...i've left home a couple times...and came back....but i was only 18 the first time)
But my favorite, and the one i think is the most applicable personally, was found on one website which declared that Ophiucus' are "wearers of plaid".
I am choosing to interpret this as my astrological sign understanding my love of country music. Accordingly, when i walked past the display in Walmart with $9 plaid shirts...i bought two.
Monday, January 10, 2011
The Year of....
i'm a bad blogger....i know, a really bad blogger. i fall off the band wagon whenever life gets too interesting. I will try and be better in case there is someone out there who actually reads this since i know how frustrating it is when my favorite bloggers don't have any entries for a couple months....like how i just suggested i'm someone's favorite blogger? oh dear.
so my girlfriend K has decided that 2011 is the "Year of K." Everyone seems to have "their" so called year. My friend J claims it was her 23rd year because that is when everything fell into place for her educationally, professionally, romantically etc. She convinced me that 23 would be a fantastic year and 23 came and went and meh it wasn't bad but it wasn't fantastic and didn't really feel like the year of me. I'm still waiting for the "Year of Me" but i'm using that theme and slightly trying something new for 2011.
My New Year's resolutions this year are:
- To be kick ass professionally
- To get a permanent job placement and stop working contract positions
- To save enough to purchase a condo by the end of the year
now i don't think 2011 is necessarily going to be the "Year of Me" in exactly the same way as for K, but i think it will be a year for myself in that i'm going to focus my energy on myself, on improving myself in every aspect of my life and of becoming a stronger more independent person than i am already.
This year i will not worry about not being in the same place as all of my friends. This year i will acknowledge my age and the success that has already come my way and be happy with what i achieve.
This year i will not reach past what is realistic, nor will i compare myself to people who are in entirely different places than myself.
This year happiness will be an integral part of my lifestyle and those things which do not add to my life in any way will be cast off to make room for something new.
This year i will let love find me if it so chooses and i will not worry, nor actively seek out relationships because i have so many other things that i should focus on for myself in the present. Worrying about being the "single friend" in my circle of girlfriends will no longer be a concern because I will accept that everything happens in its own time.
I will embrace new situations, opportunities and people. I will relinquish control over those things which i ultimately have little control over and accept what comes my way.
It's time to turn a page and be a better person.
Oh Brave New World. Hello 2011.
so my girlfriend K has decided that 2011 is the "Year of K." Everyone seems to have "their" so called year. My friend J claims it was her 23rd year because that is when everything fell into place for her educationally, professionally, romantically etc. She convinced me that 23 would be a fantastic year and 23 came and went and meh it wasn't bad but it wasn't fantastic and didn't really feel like the year of me. I'm still waiting for the "Year of Me" but i'm using that theme and slightly trying something new for 2011.
My New Year's resolutions this year are:
- To be kick ass professionally
- To get a permanent job placement and stop working contract positions
- To save enough to purchase a condo by the end of the year
now i don't think 2011 is necessarily going to be the "Year of Me" in exactly the same way as for K, but i think it will be a year for myself in that i'm going to focus my energy on myself, on improving myself in every aspect of my life and of becoming a stronger more independent person than i am already.
This year i will not worry about not being in the same place as all of my friends. This year i will acknowledge my age and the success that has already come my way and be happy with what i achieve.
This year i will not reach past what is realistic, nor will i compare myself to people who are in entirely different places than myself.
This year happiness will be an integral part of my lifestyle and those things which do not add to my life in any way will be cast off to make room for something new.
This year i will let love find me if it so chooses and i will not worry, nor actively seek out relationships because i have so many other things that i should focus on for myself in the present. Worrying about being the "single friend" in my circle of girlfriends will no longer be a concern because I will accept that everything happens in its own time.
I will embrace new situations, opportunities and people. I will relinquish control over those things which i ultimately have little control over and accept what comes my way.
It's time to turn a page and be a better person.
Oh Brave New World. Hello 2011.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
And what would Mom like?
Today i headed down to my old job at a car auction to celebrate their family fun show and shine auction with my friend M. P (who unfortunately had to work today) convinced me to go with promises of popcorn and tootsie rolls (every time i hear tootsie roll, that jingle pops into my head from when i was a kid). but M was bringing his kids down so i went to hang out with him and the munchkins and say hi to some of my old co-workers.
it's weird going back to the auction these days. i worked there for 3 years and yet i already feel like i've become an outsider. i'm the one who left. and the one who doesn't lie about how ecstatic she is with her choice to leave. but it was nice to see some people, like Fred, my most favorite auctioneer.
We got onto a rocky start him and me. When i first started at the auction, i got pulled into block clerking my second month there. a block clerk sits beside the auctioneer and keeps track of all the incoming bids in the computer system, as well as bids for the online bidders. It requires a high amount of accuracy and great reflexes in order to keep up with the auctioneer. Fred, as lovable as he is, is not a patient man when it comes to dealing with block clerks and he yelled at me a couple times when i was learning the online bidding side of the job. This resulted in me crumbling into tears because i was trying SO incredibly hard to do it perfectly. i was unable to clerk the rest of the auction because i couldn't compose myself, so my trainer took over while i tried to collect myself. Fred caught me crying and felt so terrible about the whole ordeal and since then we have been super close. he's like a father figure and so incredibly sweet.
i couldn't resist when i saw him and i ran up to the block to give him a hug. he actually stopped the auction to say hi and hug me back. Good to know i can still stop an auction ;)
they had a lot of fun activities for the kids which was great because M's little boy is about 6 and his daughter and her friend are 9. While we were waiting to get our balloon creations i was joking with the kids and watching the man make one of the girls a killer whale. When the balloon man made a comment about "mom and dad" needing balloons too. i didn't really catch what he meant and so ignored it. Then later the balloon man made another comment to me referring to me as "Mom." i just laughed and didn't bother correcting him. M thought it was hilarious and kept calling me Mom. Then we went inside to get the kids' faces painted and the face painting lady decided to ask "Mom" for permission to do a scary face on little Joel. At this point M's daughter came up to me and whispered "She thinks you're our mom!" haha.
i definitely didn't think i would be waking up a mother this morning but it was pretty nice to be called that i must admit- although the logistics of those pregnancies would be a little complicated considering my age haha. i got the warm and fuzzies with it and it's nice to know that i look like i fit the role. my friends joke that i have the mommy purse with everything a mom would need - P calls it the Mary Poppins purse because the contents can be so surprising. i definitely want kids someday and it just felt really good to be mistaken for their mom, which is something that has never happened before. maybe i am growing up a little bit.
~~~~~~~~~~~
On the dark and twisty front, i'm doing much better. my dark and twistiness was felt by the new boy as well and through misunderstandings on both sides, we had mutually convinced ourselves the other wasn't interested which climaxed in some angry and hurt moments. i do think that i often give up too soon and i am making a valiant effort to try with this one because i feel like E and i have a connection i haven't felt with anyone else. maybe with some better communication on both of our parts, dark and twisty moments will stay away. If not, at least i will know that i have actually tried.
it's weird going back to the auction these days. i worked there for 3 years and yet i already feel like i've become an outsider. i'm the one who left. and the one who doesn't lie about how ecstatic she is with her choice to leave. but it was nice to see some people, like Fred, my most favorite auctioneer.
We got onto a rocky start him and me. When i first started at the auction, i got pulled into block clerking my second month there. a block clerk sits beside the auctioneer and keeps track of all the incoming bids in the computer system, as well as bids for the online bidders. It requires a high amount of accuracy and great reflexes in order to keep up with the auctioneer. Fred, as lovable as he is, is not a patient man when it comes to dealing with block clerks and he yelled at me a couple times when i was learning the online bidding side of the job. This resulted in me crumbling into tears because i was trying SO incredibly hard to do it perfectly. i was unable to clerk the rest of the auction because i couldn't compose myself, so my trainer took over while i tried to collect myself. Fred caught me crying and felt so terrible about the whole ordeal and since then we have been super close. he's like a father figure and so incredibly sweet.
i couldn't resist when i saw him and i ran up to the block to give him a hug. he actually stopped the auction to say hi and hug me back. Good to know i can still stop an auction ;)
they had a lot of fun activities for the kids which was great because M's little boy is about 6 and his daughter and her friend are 9. While we were waiting to get our balloon creations i was joking with the kids and watching the man make one of the girls a killer whale. When the balloon man made a comment about "mom and dad" needing balloons too. i didn't really catch what he meant and so ignored it. Then later the balloon man made another comment to me referring to me as "Mom." i just laughed and didn't bother correcting him. M thought it was hilarious and kept calling me Mom. Then we went inside to get the kids' faces painted and the face painting lady decided to ask "Mom" for permission to do a scary face on little Joel. At this point M's daughter came up to me and whispered "She thinks you're our mom!" haha.
i definitely didn't think i would be waking up a mother this morning but it was pretty nice to be called that i must admit- although the logistics of those pregnancies would be a little complicated considering my age haha. i got the warm and fuzzies with it and it's nice to know that i look like i fit the role. my friends joke that i have the mommy purse with everything a mom would need - P calls it the Mary Poppins purse because the contents can be so surprising. i definitely want kids someday and it just felt really good to be mistaken for their mom, which is something that has never happened before. maybe i am growing up a little bit.
~~~~~~~~~~~
On the dark and twisty front, i'm doing much better. my dark and twistiness was felt by the new boy as well and through misunderstandings on both sides, we had mutually convinced ourselves the other wasn't interested which climaxed in some angry and hurt moments. i do think that i often give up too soon and i am making a valiant effort to try with this one because i feel like E and i have a connection i haven't felt with anyone else. maybe with some better communication on both of our parts, dark and twisty moments will stay away. If not, at least i will know that i have actually tried.
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